Energy Provocateur

By Steve Wells

Recently this question was posed on the EFT Practitioners Linked In group about psychological
reversal:

Psychological reversal? Can anyone explain how we can best explain to students how tapping
the Karate chop point during set up ‘fixes’ this? I’m confused myself …

First some background for those new to tapping and EFT: Psychological reversal is the concept
that someone’s energy system can be reversed, as in flowing in the opposite direction, from
their intention. It was used in EFT and its predecessor TFT as an explanation for failure to
progress, and is  seen as the basis of self-sabotage. In EFT the “correction” for
psychological reversal was supposed to be the set-up statement, which includes a verbal
description of the problem, combined with a self-acceptance statement (such as I deeply and
completely love and accept myself), whilst tapping on the karate chop point or rubbing a sore
spot on the chest.

Here’s my response to the question which was posed:

There is no such thing as psychological reversal and there is no need to tap on any
particular points to “reverse” it. What many EFT’ers call psychological reversal is what
therapists have been calling resistance, secondary gain, self-sabotage, and so on for many
years, ALL of may simply be different aspects of the problem OR a failure on the
practitioner’s part to get rapport, understand the problem, engage meaningfully, provide
safety, or address treatment to the right area, among other things.

It seems EFT Creator Gary Craig has also come to this point of view, as he now states in his
online tutorial:

“The term Psychological Reversal (PR) has been eliminated because, after years of experience,
I think it was mis-named. In practice, PR is a form of secondary gain/loss or a new aspect of
the original problem. While the correction for PR remains in the Basic Recipe, I have found
that PR can be handled effectively with the proper treatment of Aspects, Specific Events, and
Detective Work.”

However, Gary does say “the correction for PR remains in the Basic Recipe”. Now why you still
need to include the “correction for PR” if you no longer believe in it, I don’t know! Still,
Gary has said that he likes using the set-up language to do reframes and it makes sense to be
tapping when you do.

By the way, the set-up statement can be a nice way of framing a problem but can also lead
many people into thinking it is really necessary to use it for results, that using words to
describe the problem is necessary to treat problems effectively, or that there is something
magical in a self-accepting statement, when anyone who tests this can find that you will get
results without any set-up statements, sometimes the words can get in the way of really
focusing mindfully on your issue, and using self-accepting statements actually tunes the
client into their lack of self-acceptance rather than helping them to accept themselves more.
The fruitless search for the perfect words to describe the core issue also prevents many
people from being meaningfully helped, holds them back from using the tapping, and frustrates
many practitioners who would do better to focus more attention onto their clients…

I should say that some years ago when we were developing our own Simple Energy Techniques
(SET) I discussed with Gary how we were getting results without any need to use the set-up
statement, just simply to go with whatever is present and tap, Gary was adamant that the
set-up would be necessary for more difficult issues. Looks like his view on this has changed…

David Lake, Frank Farrelly, and Steve Wells in Leeds, May 2011

Frank Farrelly, my wonderful friend, respected mentor, second father, and creator
of Provocative Therapy has crossed over to re-unite with his beloved June (Dorothy).
He was and is a legend; a true creative genius, who shattered the myth that therapy
needs to be long, hard, and serious. I will miss him terribly.

He passed away on Sunday morning. He was 81 years old. I spoke to him just Thursday
in a scheduled “session”, and I knew immediately something had changed. I wrote to
David Lake afterwards “I think this is our last session.” And so it was.

Frank’s carer, Kim told us that before he died Frank said June was there “to take
him for a dance”. That is the wonderful image I hold right now as I think about
them. Together again, dancing.

Frank was a brilliant therapist. He worked with the legend Carl Rogers in his early
days, and went on to develop the ultimate rapport therapy, Provocative Therapy, of
which Carl could be proud. He was a huge influence on the development of Neuro
Linguistic Programming. Many big-name therapists have been thoroughly impressed with
Frank’s work over the years, but nobody has been able to categorize what he did.
Even the paradoxical and brief therapists admired him but neither Frank nor the
therapy he developed can be put into a box. Which makes it a lot more like life than
any other therapy I learned in my training.

His therapy skills were there to the end, and even in that last “session” with
Frank there were gems for me. I’m forever grateful to him and I can’t begin to
describe right now how much he has done for me, my family, and for the many clients
and workshop participants over the years with whom I (and my friend and provocative
buddy Dave Lake) have tried to share just some of what he gave us.

We talk about being “infected with the provocative virus”, and when it happens to
you, you can’t go back to serious therapy. I was infected way back in 1986 when I
attended my very first workshop with Frank. I was intrigued by the way I saw him
working with clients. But when I volunteered to go on stage and sat down to work
with him on my issues, I was blown away, astounded at how completely he understood
me, in seconds, not minutes. And I was totally enveloped in the healing warmth,
acceptance, and love which radiated out from him. It felt like coming home. Like I
WAS home. And I had a front row seat at my own personal comedy show where I was the
central character! It was deeply personal, profoundly moving, and incredibly healing.

Suffice to say I’ve never fully “recovered” from that session with Frank because
not only did the problems we touched on change, Frank also rewired my understanding
of what therapy could be. He helped me to see that change could be fun. Therapy
could be fun. Nay should be fun!

I knew that I needed more of what Frank had to offer. So I jumped at the chance to
work with him every chance I got, became coordinator of his Australian workshops,
travelled to Madison regularly to study with him, and attended his international
workshops and gatherings.

At an intensive workshop with Frank in Wollongong in 1990 I met Dave Lake and we
became instant friends. We soon met others with the same twisted sense of humour and
became members of a unique fraternity of brilliant, funny, open-hearted people all
over the world; a Provocative Family with Frank as our great patriarch.

Some years back we decided to form an international society for Provocative
Therapy. Frank immediately dubbed it the Intergalactic Society for the Advancement
of Truth, Sex, Money and Provocative Therapy! He could never allow us to create a
group without poking fun at it, to protect us from becoming too serious. Too
entrenched. Too mainstream. Too establishment.

Like all families, we have our dysfunctions. And Frank, our provocative father, as
David Lake says, was both the “good Dad” and the “bad Dad”. I experienced him as
both. Which means we had a real relationship. Not a fake one, based on fantasy. As
Frank always said, “life is hot, sticky, and wet”. Life is messy. He built his
reputation on being able to work with the messiest, most difficult stuff of all with
all kinds of people. And he showed us all that just because life is messy, doesn’t
mean it can’t also be fun!

David Lake and I are proud to carry on Frank’s legacy, through our own Provocative
Energy Techniques (PET) combining tapping using Simple Energy Techniques (SET), with
Provocative Therapy. So we are spreading the provocative virus in our own way and we
strive to do justice to what Frank taught us. Though it must go on record that Frank
never believed the tapping was behind the great results we got, to him it was the
Provocative Therapy!

We’ve been writing a book on PET and in the past few weeks I’ve sifted through
hundreds of pages of notes from Frank’s workshops. From one intensive workshop in
Schwabmulhausen, Germany in 2001 where Frank worked with a woman with cancer comes
this gem after just one session: “It’s unbelievable to talk about death and have so
much fun!” We watched her come back to life over five glorious sessions with Frank.
What a liberation. What a privilege to have been there. And this was what Frank did
regularly.

There are so many classic moments, sayings, images, jokes, metaphors from Frank,
enough to fill five books. But what’s the key learning I’ve got from Frank? That
it’s really about the quality of our relationships. That’s what we’re here to learn
in this “cosmic grade school” as Frank loved to call it.

Anyone who knows Frank wouldn’t be surprised to hear that the most pervasive memory
that keeps coming up for me since I learnt of his passing is of Frank singing the
Irish funeral song, Isn’t it Grand Boys:

Look at the coffin with golden handles
Isn’t it grand boys to be bloody well dead

Let’s not have a sniffle,
Let’s have a bloody good cry
And always remember the longer you live
The sooner you’ll bloody well die.

I still see and hear him singing it right now at the top of his voice, in the most
Irish of voices (Frank’s Dad was Irish), just as it should be sung. I’ve been
singing it along with him, sometimes out loud, sometimes in my mind, over and over.
And every time I do, I can’t help but smile.

P.S.: A tribute site to Frank Farrelly has been created at: www.frankfarrelly.com

By Steve Wells

Did you know that Mother Teresa was often wracked with doubt? That despite her
commitment to her work she felt a chasm of spiritual emptiness within her which lasted
for decades? This is revealed in her private writings, now available in the book Mother
Teresa Come Be My Light, edited by Brian Kolodiejchuk.

Here’s just one example, from a letter written by Mother Teresa to one of her spiritual
directors:

“… since 49 or 50 this terrible sense of loss – this untold darkness – this loneliness
… There is no God within me …  I just long & long for God – and then it is that I
feel – He does not want me – He is not there … The torture and pain I can’t explain.”
(pages 1-2)

As the book states so well, this not only shows the human side behind the remarkable
work of Mother Teresa, it also illustrates how “the experience of an agonizing sense of
loss need not hold anyone back from doing something extraordinary with their lives.”

How does that affect you?
When you hear that Mother Teresa’s life was wracked with doubt, despair, loneliness and
pain, what does that make you think and feel? That this is the human condition? That all
are one?

Or does it make you despair because you want to believe that she was someone who had
overcome it all? Someone who had found the secret to happiness and fulfilment which so
often seems to elude those of us lesser beings?

For many it is so much more preferable to believe that every moment of Mother Teresa’s
life was spent in total, passionate committed faith-filled joyful devotion to her life’s
work than to realise the reality that she struggled with her own “inner demons” and was
often wracked with doubts and depressing thoughts and feelings.

Do you feel freed by the irrational expectations of a life without doubt and despair
when you learn that EVERYONE experiences some of this in their life, even those whom you
currently admire? That includes me and everyone I’ve ever met in the Energy Healing
field, including those at the very top.

The experience of doubt and other negative emotions need not hold any of us back from
doing something extraordinary.

Even Muhammad Ali, acknowledged by his peers as the world’s greatest sportsperson, had
times of self-doubt, despite his apparent external confidence and constant rhetoric about
being the greatest.

Consider this quote from Mort Sharnik, talking about Muhammad Ali when he was Cassius
Clay (quoted from The Money or Your Life by John Clark. Emphasis mine):

“I’d said to him, ‘Now Cassius, tell me the truth. Put aside the hoopla, all the
bravado. What do you think about Sonny Liston?’ And he’d started, ‘Oh, that big ugly
bear.’ I said, ‘Forget that, and tell me the truth. What’s going to happen?’ And Cassius
got very thoughtful and then he said, ‘Well, I’m like Columbus. I think the world is
round, but I’m a little scared because now I’m reaching the point where I’ll find out if
it’s really round and I can sail around it or is it flat and will I fall off. I think I
can beat him. I think I’m going to do what I say. But I won’t know for sure until I get
there.”

How about that? The man who many consider the greatest athlete ever had doubt before the
match which arguably defined his career when he went on to defeat Sonny Liston and win
the world heavyweight boxing championship.

It wasn’t the absence of doubt that made him successful. It was that he was willing to
put himself in a position where that doubt was staring him right in the face. And then
continue to move forward to discover the new worlds on the other side.
So what is holding you back?

If you want to achieve something great and you are not moving forward, you have to know
that it is not doubt or lack of confidence which holds you back. It could be instead your
attachment to the false belief that those who achieve great things are superior beings
who have incredible levels of self-confidence which allow them to move towards their
goals effortlessly, “every movement a picture of grace” (as my mentor Frank Farrelly used
to say).

Sure confidence is great and I’m sure Muhammad had lots more of it after he won that
fight.  After he went through the doubt.

In fact, you could argue that it was his willingness to experience doubt which allowed
him to succeed. And maybe it is your unwillingness to experience doubt that holds you
back. Or  lack of willingness to go forward, despite the doubt.

What about treating the doubt with tapping and Energy Techniques?

Great. However, if you want to use tapping or Energy Techniques to help you to succeed,
don’t tap on never experiencing doubt, or seek to eliminate all doubt.

Tap instead on being willing to experience doubt on the way to what you really want.

Because only by being willing to experience doubt and move through it (and allow it to
move through you) can you move into new, unexplored possibilities for you.

Want to overcome your doubt and do something extraordinary? Come to one of Steve’s workshops

By Steve Wells

What is Body Energy Reading and Energy Matching?

Body Energy Reading and Energy Matching are advanced skills which can revolutionize your
practice and enhance all of your relationships. They are important sub-skills of what we
call Advanced Energy Methods (AEM), which includes ways of connecting with another person
on an energetic level and tailoring an energy intervention to help them.

Using these elegant tools you can get very deep rapport with clients, identify and get
to core issues very quickly, use energy interventions which “fit” and feel right for the
client, and help your clients to experience rapid and enduring changes.

In this article I want to demystify the processes of Body Energy Reading and Energy
Matching and give you some examples of how they can be applied to enhance your energy
healing practice.

Body Energy Reading is a process of using all your senses to observe other people
closely and noticing in particular when their emotions and energy shift. Through this
process it is possible to identify, often before the client is even aware, where energy
blocks are occurring and how they are manifesting in the body of this person.

Through this kind of skilful observation you can gain information about how to tailor both
your communication and your energy interventions for maximum effectiveness with each new
person. And you have the best way of evaluating your effectiveness: when energy shifts it
is reflected in bodily shifts that are often easily observable.

When you pay a lot of attention to people they show you and tell you what is wrong for
them in many different and sometimes unique ways and if you are “connected” you can pick
this up not only in what you see and hear but also in your own body feelings in terms of
tactile sensations, emotional states, energy level, type and magnitude. This is something
you can learn to feel directly.

Is this sounding a little complex?

It isn’t really and it is something anyone can learn to do simply by paying a bit more
attention to other people. In my upcoming workshops I’ve developed some simple ways to
help you learn to pay attention to the important indicators and I will also be
demonstrating how to do this, which will make things easier for those of you who attend
to “come to your senses” (including learning to use your 6th sense).

Energy Matching is a process of matching other people’s communication and energy with
your own communication and energy and using that information to tailor an intervention
that is maximally effective for that person’s problem, representation, energy type and
energy magnitude.  By learning a range of ways of intervening on the level that the
client is most strongly representing, expressing or most strongly aware of their problem,
you can tailor your energy intervention to suit them.

The benefits of this approach are:

• You can identify a core issue, see how and where it is affecting the client and know
how to best intervene to help them release it, often within the first 2-3 minutes of
meeting them

• You’ll have a framework to follow in selecting the best energy treatments for each
person you work with based on a range of factors (energy level and magnitude, body
location, preferred communication mode, energetic style of the person, among other
things).

• You’ll learn how to use your own energy, self and experiences as some of the most
powerful agencies for change

In my coming workshops I will teach at least 10 different ways of shifting energy and
emotion beyond just tapping on energy points! And I’ll also demonstrate how these
approaches can be combined with tapping to enhance your results.

But it all starts just with good observation, and being open on as many sensory levels
as possible (as well as reading the energy, which could be considered a 6th sense) and
then simply utilising this in your intervention approach:

Let’s look at some simple examples involving tapping:

Juliet starts to talk to you about her problem and as she does so she moves her hands
around in front of her diaphragm. You point this out and ask what she notices there and
she suddenly becomes aware of a tight feeling in her diaphragm. You ask her to simply
add tapping to that awareness and the tight feeling instantly starts to lift.

Josephine is discussing her challenges at work. As she starts to talk about how she
feels intimidated by her boss, you notice she becomes a little breathless. You observe
that her breathing is shallow and in the top of her chest. As you ask her put her
attention in this area and to apply tapping to the constriction she starts to breathe
more deeply and her face starts to brighten. She later reports feeling more confident
around her boss.

Jane is discussing a problem of feeling controlled by her mother. She suddenly looks
over to her left and immediately breaks into tears. You ask her to look over to that
same spot and tell you what she sees and she suddenly accesses a memory from age 5 of
being scolded for taking the last cupcake. Tapping on this specific event and its
associated thoughts and feelings leads her to feeling strong and in control around
her mother for the first time in years.

Jenny starts to talk about her problems with her kids and suddenly you notice you are
inexplicably feeling tired! You look closely at Jenny and notice that her shoulders
have slumped and ask how she is feeling. Surprise, surprise she is feeling exhausted!
As she begins to tap with that awareness, she starts to breathe more deeply, and sit
more upright. You feel your own energy start to return too.

None of the above is very complex and many of you will already be doing this. The
challenge is to be open on more than one level so that you are noticing the visual,
auditory, kinesthetic and energetic shifts that occur (in the other person and in you)
as people access their problems and also as they start to process them via the
treatment.

If you notice how the problem is being both represented and expressed, then you can
tailor your communication and your treatment to that person and their problem. Also,
you can then notice later whether these things have shifted as a way of evaluating
the effectiveness of your treatment. Sure they may say they are better, but is there
congruency on all levels when they do this?

Even if you are simply using tapping – and this is not the only way to shift energy or
even the best way in some cases – how you tailor your intervention to the person and
their problem is crucial. The worst thing you want to do is assume that “one size fits
all”.

Tailoring Your Treatment to the Person

Let’s look at some examples of tailoring the energy intervention to the person. In these
examples each person seems to have the same presenting problem (throat feeling) but each
requires a different intervention:

Jayden is telling you about his money problems and when he does so you ask him what he
is aware of in his body. He becomes aware of a feeling in his throat. He says it is like
being strangled. You notice the way his voice shifts when he says the word “strangled”
and see that a tear has come into his eye. So you have him tap on “being strangled”. Just
the words are enough and he instantly starts to feel better. When he focuses on his money
issues he is suddenly able to see new possibilities.

Jarrad has a throat feeling too whenever he focuses on a coming job interview. You ask
him to describe its location, size, shape and colour. He does so easily (round, tennis
ball, front of throat, black). You ask him to focus on the round black lump at the front
of his throat and start tapping and notice how it changes and he is surprised how it
moves through several colours, shapes, and locations and each time it does so the feeling
shifts until ultimately it is completely gone and replaced by a feeling of excitement. He
sends you an email 2 days later to tell you he got the job and (unheard of) really
enjoyed himself in the interview.

Joanne has a throat feeling too when explaining her business challenges. You ask her to
put her attention on the feeling and simply notice what it is like and she says it feels
tight. You ask her to pay attention to the tightness and just observe what it does as she
taps. She says it starts to get tighter and you ask her if she can tap and allow it to do
so. As she does this the tightness increases a little more, then starts to ease, then
disappears. A week later she has completed several business tasks she’d been putting off.

Jim has a throat feeling. You ask him to put his attention on the feeling and tell you
the first image that comes into his mind. He says, surprised, “a house”. You have him
focus on the house image and tap. As he does so, the image expands; you encourage him to
tap and allow it to continue to do so. The house image keeps expanding until it is really
large then suddenly Jim reports that it has started to contract. It keeps contracting
until eventually it has shrunk away completely. The feeling in Jim’s throat has now
disappeared. When he speaks his voice is clear and strong.

Jemima has a throat feeling. You ask her where she has felt this problem before. She
accesses a memory of being pushed under the water by her brother in the bath at age four.
You have her tap whilst focusing on the intense parts of this memory. Progressively the
feeling subsides. Later she calls her brother for the first time in 10 years.

Jetta has a throat feeling when he thinks about a coming presentation. You ask him what
thought goes with that feeling and he says rapidly and anxiously, “I’m going to forget
what I have to say”. You have him repeat that negative statement out loud and the anxiety
increases. Now you ask him to tap continually whilst repeating the same statement very
slowly, one word at a time, with an extended pause between each word, as he taps. Two
minutes later when you have him repeat the statement again as he thinks about doing the
presentation the throat feeling is not there. He is calm. He goes on to conduct a
brilliant presentation with no anxiety at all.

These are just 6 examples of different interventions, and there are dozens more,
including what you do with those clients who aren’t even aware of what they are feeling.
The key is that the intervention is tailored to the person and how they are representing
and experiencing the problem. I haven’t even said anything here about matching the
person’s energy level and intensity when you interact with them. And then there is the
crucial unseen dimension of how you connect with them at a heart level.

In my upcoming workshops I’ll be demonstrating these and many other energy interventions
and techniques and will show you how you can get more effective results by tailoring your
approach to each new person.  I hope you can join us.

What do you think? I’d love to read your comments.

By Steve Wells

“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”
- Mark Twain

You become what you think about – philosophers and thinkers have been telling us this
for centuries. But what if they are wrong? For when you look at it many of our thoughts
actually have very little – if any – impact at all.

Many people think the same thoughts for years without any discernible change in their
action or results. I have a friend who for all 33 years I’ve known him has been saying
that his time is about to end, he’s constantly thinking this and believes what he says.
Now approaching 80 I suppose the odds of his being correct are improving!

Imagine if all of your ongoing ridiculous disjointed and often contradictory thoughts
were each instantly turned into their physical counterpart! What a chaos your life would
be!

The reality is that some of your thoughts influence (but do not control) your actions,
and therefore your results, more than others – and these are the thoughts you have that
are emotionalized.

Without the energy of emotion, thoughts have no power.

You have much more chance of “becoming”, or at least being influenced by, what you think
about with feeling.  As it says in the Bible “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.”

However, even if you have a really intense thought laden with lots of emotion, it
doesn’t necessarily mean that thought will become real. Look at my friend whose scary
thought which worried him incessantly has never yet come true. My Mum similarly worried
endlessly about becoming ill. Now with alzheimers and still physically robust, blessedly
those worries are gone.

And despite what “Law of Attraction” cultists will have you believe, even if you think
and feel really intensely about something you want, without action you still won’t
necessarily manifest much in terms of results in the material world. If you look at real
results, those who are thinking it and even those who are feeling it without action are
being overtaken by those who are doing it (even those without the “right” thinking and
vibration!).

And just because a thought has lots of emotion doesn’t mean we have to act on it, it
just increases the likelihood we will. But feeling definitely trumps mere thought alone
when it comes to influencing action.

It’s possible to think a thought and for it to have absolutely no discernible effect on
you at all. You are not hooked by it. It flows right through you. It doesn’t affect you
and it certainly doesn’t influence your actions.

Anyone who has experienced deep mediation or experienced the effects of effective Energy
Treatment using SET or EFT tapping knows this to be true. After an Energy Treatment via
SET you can often think the same “negative” thought – even one which previously really
affected you – and try really hard to conjure up some emotional intensity by thinking it
in its worst form and the effect just isn’t there.

If the thought can be there and yet have no effect on you then the thought itself must
not be the problem. This must cause some challenges to the cognitive therapists among
us, surely?

It is not the thought but the emotional attachment which is the real cause of our
suffering. Release the emotion which has become associated to the thought and the thought
loses all of its presumed power.

That idea is then released back into the world of ideas and is now easily seen as simply
an idea, a concept, or a story, which can be seen from many sides, examined and
entertained, but does not need to be saluted emotionally, or reacted to, or acted upon.

Ultimately then, it must be possible to think any thought at all, and for it to have no
significant effect on you emotionally or physically. Is this where real freedom lies, in
the freedom from emotional attachment to ideas? Freedom from thought, actually.

Many religious traditions have pointed to this:

Since everything is but an apparition, having nothing to do with good or bad, acceptance
or rejection, one may well burst out in laughter.
- Longchenpa (Tibetan Buddhist teacher)

To the pure, all things are pure… (Titus 1:15)

“Out beyond the rightness or wrongness of things there is a field, I’ll meet you there”
-  Rumi (Sufi poet)

Effective Energy Treatment releases the emotional attachment which  binds us so strongly
to the pain of one perspective, one idea, one thought, one choice for our actions, one
story for our life, one constricted view of our potential, one name for a person, one
limiting identity…

Ultimately, as we release these emotion-based attachments, we reach a place where we are
free of judgment. Then we can be where we are and see it for the first time.

Let’s end with one more from Rumi:

This being human is a guest house
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
- Rumi

By Steve Wells

I remember someone writing to me back in 2007 when I had arranged to bring Carol Look to Australia for a joint workshop we ran on tapping into success and abundance. The message was: “I can’t make it to this year’s workshop but I’ll definitely come next year.” The assumption being of course that Carol would come back to Australia and we would repeat that workshop. Well of course that next workshop never came and that person never got to make good on their wish.

Like every opportunity that comes to us in life, the time is now.

In a few days time we will visit with our mentor Frank Farrelly who I’ve mentioned is terminally ill. This is to be our “last hurrah”. I remember back to when I first met Frank in a workshop in Perth way back in 1986, and I was absolutely blown away by his Provocative Therapy. Being in the audience was quite something but it was nothing compared to when I ventured out the front of the room to have a live session with Frank. In that moment all of my intellectual rationalisations dissolved as I felt the love, warmth and acceptance of being in his presence. And the humour and audacious provocation broke through the walls of my limiting beliefs. I was immediately infected with the “provocative virus” and from that moment on I couldn’t get enough of it.

Over the years since then I gathered plenty of video recordings of Frank working with people in his workshops. But we implored everyone who would listen to come and see and experience this “living legend” while he was alive. Well now, for those of you who haven’t seen Frank, it is too late. You’ll have to make do with the video recordings which survive the transfer to DVD from good old VCR. They are of course fantastic, despite being single camera and low definition. But nothing beats live presence, being in the room with the master himself. That’s why, even though we have skype, we’re going to travel around the world once more to sit at the feet of the master for one more time.

This morning I was informed that the Sydney Growth Summit which was to be in September has had to be cancelled due to low numbers. What a shame that not enough people were willing to commit to what looked like an excellent program. As I said in my email to the organisers, I do know that a lot of people are holding back on making commitments these days due to fear (the very thing that coming to an event like this can help you with).

You cannot defeat fear by avoiding action. As I said to one of my clients today, the only true freedom in life is the internal freedom of knowing you can do and have what you want. And the only true security is the internal security of knowing that you can handle whatever comes. That security cannot be gained by staying at home and avoiding risk.

As Helen Keller said:

“Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.”

Some years ago when I was working with teenagers, my co-facilitator Greg Murray loved to use the following quote:

“Your situation in life will not change if you do nothing about it!”

And just last night I was flicking through a book looking for something and out slipped a piece of paper with this quote from Michael Landon Jr:

“Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day. Do it! I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows.”

Whatever it is you have within you to do, do it now.

There are opportunities and they are here now. Listen to your heart and if you feel deep inside that this step is right for you, you have to take it.

Here are some of the opportunities we have coming up:

In Australia:

The First Australian EFT and Innovative Energy Techniques Masterclass in Melbourne IS going ahead, and I hope those of you who are Aussies or New Zealanders will say yes to the opportunity that represents to come out and see 8 brilliant presenters for the first time even in Australia coming together to teach a range of new and innovative approaches to EFT, tapping, and other powerful Energy Techniques:
http://www.eftdownunder.com/ozmaster.html

In Sydney in September we’ll present Accelerated Emotional HealingZ, the only remaining opportunity in Australia this year to get an in-depth training in Advanced Energy Methods and Provocative Energy Techniques. If you want to learn these powerful techniques this is your chance:
http://www.eftdownunder.com/sydney0912.html

In USA:

Dr David Lake and I ARE coming to the USA for the first time in 4 years and I hope you’ll say yes to the opportunity to visit with us and catch up with our latest techniques for shifting stuck states and treating core issues. There are just a few more days to take advantage of this unique opportunity and be the first to learn techniques never before taught in the USA:

Seattle Emotional Shift Workshop:
http://www.eftdownunder.com/seattle2012.html

Los Angeles Tap into Success Workshop:
http://www.eftdownunder.com/lax12.html

In Europe:

In Stuttgart in November we’ll teach SET for stress-relief and PET for preventing and treating Burnout. Will you stop working long enough to attend and find out how to experience the real freedom you are seeking?
http://www.eftdownunder.com/stuttgart2012.html

In Paris in November is our first ever workshop in France. Remember: The first time is always memorable and special and it only happens once. You’ll learn to use Simple Energy Techniques (SET), Advanced Energy Methods (AEM) and Provocative Energy Techniques (PET) to dramatically increase your effectiveness and results. http://www.eftdownunder.com/paris2012.html

Go for it!

by Steve Wells

“Eating ice cream is easy. Making something that matters is hard.” – Seth Godin

Over 70 years ago Albert E. N. Gray wrote an essay called The Common Denominator of Success. From his research on what led some people to become successful while others did not he concluded:

“The common denominator of success — the secret of success of every(one) who has ever been successful — lies in the fact that (they) formed the habit of doing things that failures don’t like to do.”

In analysing the biggest producers in his own field of life insurance, Gray asked:

“Perhaps you have wondered why it is that our biggest producers seem to like to do the things that you don’t like to do. They don’t!”

It is common in the tapping world to find people who encourage you to work on changing your “vibration” in order to be successful. We are all supposed to get ourselves to feel good then we can change. But as Gray discovered, many, in fact most, people who are successful don’t wait until they feel good before they take action, they manage to get themselves to take action despite their uncomfortable feelings. And that is why they succeed.

Gray found that successful people manage to get themselves to do the things that people who are not successful don’t do and won’t do, not because they like doing those things (the popular myth), but because they have found a meaningful purpose which makes taking  those actions worthwhile. They are able to consistently get themselves to do things which others don’t like to do and they don’t necessarily like doing either because their disliking is subordinated to the strength of their purpose.

What does that mean?

They have found some deeply meaningful reasons which are emotionally stronger to do than the emotional reasons not to do the things they need to do to become successful. And then they make taking those actions a habit.

Gray uses the term purpose but when you dig deeper he is really talking about values, which are your strongest emotional drivers. He says you need to identify a purpose which is a sentimental or emotional, one which is rooted in your strongest wants and desires.

So essentially, unless your goals relate to your highest values, your strongest underlying emotional reasons why you want to do this or have this or become this they will never drive your actions too far. If you haven’t found those reasons, that is the place to start.

Ask yourself these questions:

• What is most important to me?
• Will achieving this be really good for me, good for others and good for the planet?

You might as well know right now that you are not going to be truly successful unless you can get yourself to do some things that are currently uncomfortable for you to do.

Your success is on the other side of your current comfort zone.

Now here’s the thing: Tapping can help you. Tapping can help you to overcome the emotional blocks to doing the things you need to do to become successful. Tapping can help you to make the discomfort of taking disliked actions less uncomfortable…

However, without the strong energy and powerful inspiration provided by that link to your highest values and desires, no amount of tapping will get you there. So check in emotionally with your goal. If it doesn’t really inspire you, dig deeper until you find what does.

As Seth Godin writes in Lynchpin:

“When you set down the path to create art, whatever sort of art it is, understand that the path is neither short nor easy. That means you must determine if the route is worth the effort. If it’s not, dream bigger.”

(If you are unclear about your values, my Values Intensive Live Workshop DVD set can help you get clear on what is really important to you and help iron out the internal conflicts.)

Here’s something else: as long as you believe that taking action towards your goal, at least in the beginning, should be easy, that you should like taking those actions then you will continue to be held back.

There are some actions that you just do not like doing right now which you will need to do if you are to be successful and achieve your goals. And waiting for all conditions to be perfect will mean you may never do anything at all. Waiting until tapping makes you feel great about taking action may be also be a distraction from action which keeps you stuck.

So your best first use of tapping is this: Tapping to help you to bear with the uncomfortable feelings of going outside your comfort zone towards a valued goal even as you get into action to go there. Tapping as you go.

Every significant move forward is going to require you to move outside your current comfort zone, which means that some discomfort comes with the territory. That even applies when your desired goal is something you really want.

The discomfort of taking steps towards a valued goal is not a bad thing, it is a good form of stress, like stretching a tight muscle is good for the muscle and ultimately good for you. If you continue to see those sensations as bad then you doom yourself to remain in contraction.

Some effort is required for the chick to break free of the egg or the butterfly to come out of the cocoon.

Can’t I just tap away my bad feelings until I feel good and then take action?

Good luck. For when you try tap away those feelings you risk setting up a secondary condition: You may be seeking to avoid something you need to go through. And now you are left with the feeling that you can’t handle those negative feelings, even those that might be good for you! And you remain rooted in inaction, waiting for everything to be perfect and to “feel right” before you will move.

If you keep trying to remove your negative feelings and to “not” feel them then they actually tend to scream more loudly. What you resist tends to persist. On the other hand, once you fully accept and allow those feelings to move you then they will tend to move through you. What you accept and allow no longer has power to control you.

So tap to connect with your end goal, vision, dream, or purpose, and to allow yourself to feel how it will really feel when you have achieved it. Regularly accessing those feelings will really help you to sustain through the difficult times.

Then tap on being willing to experience the feelings you currently see as negative which you will experience when you take steps to move outside your comfort zone.

Tap to get yourself to take action and continue on taking action despite those feelings and any associated negative thoughts being there. Tap for being able to handle the feelings, not to try to tap them away.

Use tapping to allow you to move into what seems like discomfort but is in reality an energy-giving, life-expanding stretch for you.

That, I guarantee you, will be a lot more productive than staying at home and tapping until you get your “vibration” right.

What do you think? I would love to read your comments on this article…

By Steve Wells

For years I taught that the road to success was to “focus on what you want and not on what you don’t want”. I still see the value of the first part of that statement, focusing on what you want, but I now have major challenges with the second part. Trying not to focus on negatives, or, as many pop psychologists have taught, seeking to banish the negatives from your mind actually has the opposite effect. It may ultimately be one of the things that is most preventing us from being more successful!

Some very popular “positive thinking” teachers still recommend that you wear an elastic band around your wrist and sting yourself with that band every time you think a negative thought. And many psychologists recommend a technique called “Thought stopping” where, when you find yourself thinking a thought that disturbs you, you are supposed to yell loudly to yourself “Stop it!” There is even a very funny popular You Tube video circulating where a woman with claustrophobic thoughts is told to “Stop it!” as a way of dealing with her phobic thoughts.

If only this commonsense advice actually worked. But not only does it not work, it can actually make things worse.

Research now shows that thought suppression, trying to banish certain thoughts from your mind, is almost guaranteed to cause those thoughts to enter your mind more often. Trying NOT to think about something is actually a great way to ensure you will think it even more. What you resist, persists.  And the same applies when you try not to feel something.

Is this one of the reasons why so many people are depressed?

I think it is. As outlined in The Willpower Instinct, an excellent new book by Kelly McGonigal, studies show that the more you try to suppress negative thoughts, the more likely you are to become depressed. The more you try to push away self-critical thoughts, the more your self-esteem and mood plummets.

And this doesn’t just apply to your thinking, it also applies to behaviour. The more you try not to think about eating chocolate, the more chocolate you’ll ultimately eat. The more you beat yourself up for failing at a task, the more your future performance on similar tasks is likely to suffer. The list goes on and on.

What is the solution?

Acceptance. Allowing.  Simply allowing the thoughts to be there. I say, let the thought “be thunk”. As opposed to our fear that the thoughts will then control us, that by “giving in” to those thoughts that they will “take over”, the decision to allow those thoughts to be there without having to act upon them simply confirms that we are not prisoners of our thoughts.

When thoughts are allowed to “be”, they tend not to hang around. And if they do, they no longer have the same influence. Allowing and accepting them forces them to relinquish their pretend power. When they have been really faced, it all becomes clear. They are simply thoughts.

Tapping can also help here.

In our Simple Energy Techniques (SET), we encourage clients to focus on whatever they are aware of about their problem, whether thoughts or feelings, bring that into their awareness and then simply add the tapping. There is no judgement about the thought or feeling. We simply bring attention to it, and tap, following it wherever it moves to next, through different manifestations of your thoughts or feelings.

Often, after tapping in this way using SET, the sufferer is able to think the negative thought which previously disturbed them but they no longer have any negative feeling “attached” to that thought. They are no longer controlled by it. They see it as simply a thought.

But it is not just the tapping which causes this, it is the acceptance, which begins with that willingness to bring the negative thought or feeling into awareness. Simple awareness in itself can be  healing, especially if that awareness can be held without judgement.

I often mused when I used to use EFT that the true power of the “EFT Set-up statement”, where you have the client state “Even though I have this (problem) I deeply and completely accept myself” is not the positive self-accepting statement as many assume it to be (many clients in fact reject this statement anyway), but is really that the problem is being faced and named. It is in the recognition, acceptance, hell even the resignation of that statement which essentially says, “Dammit, Even though I shouldn’t have this problem I do have it!”  Now research appears to be backing up my hypothesis. And I challenge EFT practitioners to use a statement like the one above instead of the usual set-up statement. You’ll find it works just as often. As does saying, “I deeply and completely reject myself”, by the way, but that’s another story!)

The same applies to feelings. Instead of trying to “tap away” our negative feelings as many EFT practitioners advocate, which can produce an inner resistance which draws both practitioner and client into the trap of “thought suppression” and feeling avoidance mentioned previously (which some clients can only resolve by dissociating from the thought or feeling, driving it underground where it must continue to be held psychically until it can be healed by acceptance, with a practitioner who themselves is not scared by the negative…), it is truly our willingness to focus on the negative which allows tapping to reveal its power.

Feelings are meant to move…

I believe feelings are meant to move us and move through us, and that as they do so they inform us and allow us to adapt to important changes in our world.

Of course, we are afraid of some of our “negative” feelings, we don’t want to feel them because we fear they will overwhelm us. Again, this is where tapping can help. Tapping used with acceptance of whatever is present. This “acceptance tapping” helps to calm our resistance to what “is”, to allow us to “bear with” our legitimate feelings and allow them ultimately to move back into flow.

As we allow ourselves to feel our feelings, release our resistances, and let go of our judgements, we grow into new perspectives and ultimately evolve.  And rather than constricting or defeating us as we feared, as we flow with our feelings and allow them to move us and move through us, we expand into new levels of consciousness. And joy arises from within.

What do you think? I would love to read your comments on this article.

Come  to one of our live trainings and experience the power of radical acceptance and advanced energy work!  Find out more at: http://www.eftdownunder.com/events.html

Note from Steve Wells:

10 years ago Dr. David Lake’s daughter Tanya nearly lost her life in the Bali terrorist bombings. On her return to Australia, David treated her using EFT for the emotional trauma she had experienced. The original account of that successful tapping treatment appeared in EFT Creator Gary Craig’s newsletter.

You can read  a copy of the original article here. It is also included in our book Enjoy Emotional Freedom.

Recently, David and his family travelled to Bali for a very special event. This is his account of what happened there…

Bali Revisited: Personal Note from Dr. David Lake:

The first week in May marked a family milestone for me and a deeply satisfying affirmation of life. It is also a reminder of the power of the energy techniques to facilitate life-affirming change far beyond the idea of “treatment”.  My Mum once said that “you can’t worry about what never happened” (meaning, don’t speculate with negative thinking about the ‘what-if’s’ in life). I have often thought of her words in the context of having four adventurous daughters.

2012 marks a decade since the date of the first Bali bombing where my daughter Tanya nearly lost her life. If you have read the account on our website or in our book “Enjoy Emotional Freedom” of her survival and tapping treatment—for the trauma she experienced—then you know she was determined afterwards not to live her life “under a rock”, hiding away from danger or living in fear. Her family and friends gathered in Ubud, Bali, last week to see her marry. It was a celebration in every way. For me it was also evidence of a complete healing.

During the ceremony and afterwards I had many thoughts about how far she had come since that awful day. Who could ever forget receiving a telephone call in the night saying “I’ve been blown up, but I’m alright! ”? I know that her friends were sometimes conscious of that time in the past, during the ceremony. I was very concerned personally about even going to Bali for the wedding. [At this moment a group of terrorists remain at large on the island with the intention to cause another atrocity.] Let’s just say that a lot of tapping was happening in my house recently.

None of this apprehension mattered in the realization of her creative and inspiring ‘dream wedding’. It was held in a lush, tropical paradise and every detail spoke of care and good intention. We were all surrounded by the love and affection of her friends and our family. Having her two children at play with all the guests provided a delightful counterpoint to any formality. We came completely into the moment. We had so much fun! We all created a vibrational space that is still resonating.

I mention all this purely to give thanks for the wonderful tapping technique that I consider allowed Tanya to continue to live her life, without being held back by the trauma she went through in 2002. It was a timely and vital intervention. I’m pleased that the opportunity came for her to benefit from all that I had learned, especially from Gary Craig. I know some sufferers from that time are still very afflicted. I also know that many trauma sufferers generally have as yet had no access to the kind of good outcomes that tapping can deliver. Their lives have been blighted. But life goes on; families keep going (and giving) too. This ‘ongoingness’ is so important in one’s inner world. Techniques alone can’t give you the emotional ‘food’ that you need to become authentically yourself.

Living well is not just avoiding mistakes or dealing with problems. Tanya has had plenty of those. It is manifesting your real values: the truth as you see it. I think that this tapping result from long ago has allowed Tanya to live her values in a beautiful way that culminated in the ceremony in Bali. How fitting that she should choose the place she loves to show her self to us all.

By Steve Wells

“It is the physician’s love which heals the patient” — Sandor Ferenczi

Many people don’t realise that the term provocative as used in Provocative Energy Techniques actually means “to call forth”, that the focus of PET is on calling forth clients strengths and helping them to access their energy for change, to help them to get back in touch with their own power. But what blows them away even more is when they discover that approach is really grounded in a loving, warm energy and it is this which gives PET its true healing power.

What is really most provocative in a PET session, what is most difficult to handle for many clients is not the practitioners exaggeration of their negative belief systems, nor is it the practitioners ” seeming encouragement of” their own internal put-downs or their doom and gloom thinking. What is most provocative and often hardest to handle for clients is the warm-hearted accepting energy which is flowing to them through the practitioner.

What is this like from the client’s perspective?

Here is a beautiful description from Caroline from our last Brussels seminar:

“In May 2011, when Steve motioned me to come before the group for a PET demonstration, my heart was pounding. He then asked me what I wanted to work on. I replied that “I’m very talented for depression” and I felt the sadness beginning to overwhelm me and I started to feel the sobs rising and shaking me. While tapping, Steve in his inimitable style and with lots of love began to imitate the movements of my body shaken by sobs and says “Looks like a car that is misfiring to start”. The audience and I were quite sure rocked with laughter. What was not visible from the outside but very strong inside, was the sensation of pain mixed with laughter. With equal intensity.

I felt Steve was with me. I felt his look of love and his presence in this moment of most intense pain. He was there with me. Once in a while I was a little embarrassed to have an audience of 130 people on the side but I was trying to welcome something that was beginning to happen in myself. Steve kept looking at me in silence. We tapped continuously. In silence. And gradually as time passed, I felt Steve’s love into my heart I felt someone’s love for me for the first time in my life. Pure love. He looked at me as no one had ever looked at me. It was extremely beautiful and deliciously soothing. I left this demonstration rebuilt, touched in my heart, a place I did not know. I felt that my heart had opened to love and it is still open a year later much bigger. So I say thank you Steve and thank you PET.”

Many patterns used in PET owe their origin to Provocative Therapy, created by Frank Farrelly, including the humorous provocation and paradoxical language, but the main element, the one really key thing Frank taught us, is to keep your heart open.

It was this which so overwhelmed me way back in 1986 when I had my first session with Frank, the overwhelming feelings of love, warmth and acceptance such as I’d never experienced before. And that is what kept me coming back to this man and his approach to experience and to learn more. What I didn’t realise sometimes when I was so focused on learning the techniques and trying too hard sometimes to be funny, was that Frank was really teaching me to open up my heart. Bit by bit.

Over the years as my heart has been able to open more my results with clients have improved exponentially.

When we certify practitioners of PET it is this element which we cannot emphasise enough: Keep your heart open towards the client. Keep yourself in an open, connected,  warm-hearted state at all times.

Ultimately, far beyond any techniques you use, it is this love which does the healing.

What do you think? We would love to read your comments on this article.

Experience the power of PET at a live workshop.