EFT is not always a “Quick Fix”
By Steve Wells
Recently I received an email from a lady I’ll call Mary (not her real name) who suffers with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome asking whether I thought EFT could help with CFS. With her permission I am including excerpts from our correspondence below, because I think they illustrate one of the biggest challenges in the world of Energy Techniques lately – that of over promising. This problem is, I think, doing a great disservice to the value of these techniques and slowing their spread to those to whom they can offer MOST help. I’ll have more to say about this at the end of the email excerpts below. Dr.
Here is Mary’s initial request to me:
“I have had a few sessions with an EFT practitioner in my area and one over the phone with someone in another State to me. Although I can somewhat understand how EFT can be of great assistance, I am unsure as to whether it could help with CFS etc. and help me to rebuild my body back to vibrant health…
Can you give me any words of wisdom here? Have you had other people with severe, long term debilitating CFS find EFT and Provocative Therapy of assistance? Can it help to restore health if the symptoms have been there for so long?”
My initial reply to Mary:
I have had some experience with CFS, what a depressing disorder it can be in every respect of the word! However, I have seen people recover from this AND do so even after long-term although Energy Techniques like EFT, SET, and PET were not the only treatment and improvement was over time, and it is not the case that everyone will have the same experience…
So in response to your question the answer is yes its possible these techniques could help you although probably not on their own and I would also recommend ongoing use of them rather than expecting a quick fix…
You can easily get a lot of meridian stimulation happening on a daily basis using our new SET approach and this can assist in reducing your overall stress levels and potentially freeing up some energy – see http://www.eftdownunder.com/SET.html – however the best thing would be to work personally with a therapist (not over the phone) if that is at all possible.
I would also suggest you consider the possibility (likelihood) that you are depressed and consult your physician regarding an appropriate treatment – Most people are reluctant to consider drug treatments but my experience is that more severe depression does not respond well to other treatments like EFT unless there is something else like this to help lift the depression… The alternative and traditional work best together when seen as complementary…
Mary’s reply:
“You are the first EFT person who has pointed out that EFT for CFS etc is not a quick fix for which I am extremely grateful. I stopped seeing the Practitioner in my area because I felt I had failed as I was led to believe that I should “be better by now” after a few sessions.
I may point out that in many cases, not just with the EFT Practitioner, but with all manner of so-called natural Practitioners, I have been told the same thing – couldn’t count how many times I’ve been promised that he/she will fix me within a few sessions! It’s been my experience over many years that quite a few health practitioners have a certain amount of arrogance and lack humility and real empathy…”
End of email excerpts…
Steve’s comments:
I have received a lot of similar complaints recently, all stemming from people over-promising on what EFT or other Energy Psychology techniques can really deliver, perhaps out of ignorance of the profound physical and emotional overwhelm of some of these conditions. In my experience, if we are more experimental rather than dogmatic in our own thinking and in what we say and do with our clients and potential clients then we can open up possibilities for us and them. Otherwise we risk coming across like snake oil salespeople rather than seekers of the truth…
If we dogmatically insist on EFT as the one and only treatment, and 1-2 sessions of tapping as the absolute expectation for massive results to be experienced for everyone and all conditions, then we risk shutting down our capacity to accurately assess, empathise with, and to meet the client where they are. We become just a technician with no other tool than our tapping hammer AND we potentially set both ourselves and the client up for a fall when our – which then become their – irrational expectations are not met.
Here’s the reality for MOST people: EFT (and other Energy Techniques like SET and TST) are NOT a quick fix for the vast majority of physical conditions, even though they may at times provide rapid relief to some symptoms such as pain. In particular chronic conditions will frequently require ongoing treatment and the tapping will often need to be combined with other treatments for optimum results. We should even leave our minds open to the possibility (reality) that for many conditions, particularly physical conditions, EFT is NOT the best treatment available.
I think its time for us all to stop criticising the closed mindedness in the traditional medical profession and ask ourselves if we have become a little closed minded ourselves. I say this whilst admitting that I have been guilty of this myself in the past. For example, in the early days of my exuberance for EFT I once stated confidently that someone’s phobia could be fixed in a few minutes, having just had similar results a few minutes earlier on another person with the “same” phobia, only to suddenly find myself with a person whose apparently simple phobia on the surface actually connected to an entire complex negative belief system, multiple past life traumas, and a negative self-image, among other things… Not the same phobia at all actually…
In earlier times, I recall
In my belief, over-promising and getting caught up in the hype and expectation of the one-minute or one-session wonder is one of the things that has the greatest potential of harming the progress of getting these techniques out there to the people they can most help. Not only because it turns many people off. Also because it can lead us become focused on technique and short term results rather than on the people we wish to help and their own uniqueness. That it can lead us to see them as just a set of buttons to be pressed or points to be tapped on rather than complex human beings whose conditions may have multiple causes (and correspondingly multiple potential avenues for healing).
Excellent post.
After a few issues which should have been quick fixes but weren’t I’ve came to the conclusion that the idea of a ‘quick fix’ is curse. When a large number of articles on emofree or snippets of videos show people getting over serious issues apparently instantaneously it’s not surprising people think they can get over six impossible things before breakfast.
One of the other things I’ve noticed in clients expectations is that this is something I’ll be doing to them. They can just sit back and I’ll wave the wand and that will be that.
Perhaps I should start my sessions with ‘I don’t know how much this will help or how long it will take or how much effort you will need to put into this to get the results you want’.
BTW How is it you are able to read my mind and organise my thoughts into an wonderful article when I can’t?
I’m so glad to have read this article. Thank you Mary, for asking about cfs. I have actually given up on SET and EFT because I’m getting no results… thought I was a failure… that it perhaps worked for everyone else except me.
I’ll try it again now… with the knowledge that it might not be quite as quick and miraculous as earlier claims I read about, and was led to believe in.
Em
Another great article, Steve,
I both agree with you and disagree with you, though!
I would suggest that the experience of EFT is nearly always one of many one minute miracles; its just that, as you say, many initial presenting problems are very different from each other. Some are relatively simple, and some have so many nuances, layers and aspects to them , that it is not possible to reach them all in a minute, day or even a year sometimes!
I have seen many one-minute miracles with friends and on myself – but that miracle was that we were laughing instead of crying, peaceful instead of angry, or that a way forward could be seen where is wasn’t one before. Was the original presenting problem solved in those cases? Sometimes not- but there was still a miracle.
I think the problem is that often enough, we do not present the case histories that take a very long time. A recent article in Gary Craig’s newsletter on a woman with borderline personality disorder was very encouraging in this regard – she took several years with daily work on herself before she could really say she was healed. We need to hear more of these stories…
It depends where you’re at. It has been established that we are all energy, that’s why acupuncture, acupressure incl. EFT, SET etc. work. We create our reality based on the input we receive, possibly even before conception. We can manipulate and change that reality, but even when we have this understanding, it does not necessarily help to produce 1-minute-wonders. A majority of people is afraid of change because it attacks the security of the known, even if that reality is pain, illness, poverty etc., we prefer to stay inert in order to maintain our identities and the “benefits” they bring to our lives.
‘A major 2006 American Government study showed that less than 50% of people become symptom-free on antidepressants, even after switching several medications.
Furthermore, many who do not respond to medication + slip back into major depression within a short time, despite the medication.
The conclusion has been made that a combination of therapy, exercise and self-help strategies would work just as well or better – minus the side effects.’
It all comes down to getting to the bottom of the problem, peeling the layers, understanding the multiple issues, while balancing the energy. We are complex entities and a severe, persistent dis-ease demands an intense, persistent therapy. Perseverance is key to everything, therefore the honest answer when we are asked as therapists “How long will it take to heal me”? is “I don’t know” but also ” We start together and I’ll guide you + teach you the tools you’ll need to create the change you need”.
It was almost a relief to read your article, Steve!
Even though I do not fully agree with EVERYTHING you said, I am ever so grateful that you addressed this issue.
When you cited Gary (’underpromise, but overdeliver’), you can’t but wonder why most of the articles that were chosen for his newsletter these past years, seem to have been accounts of ‘one-minute wonders’ – which I found pretty frustrating at times. I am very happy that there are more and more articles now, that give a more realistic impression of what to expect when working with EFT.
I often receive e-mails from prospective clients who have been subscribers to Gary Craig’s newsletter for quite a while. Interestingly, many of them expect me to ‘deliver a quick-fix’ for whatever (often global) problem they are faced with, preferably within a couple of sessions.
I often explain that it doesn’t work this way, that ‘yes’, there ARE one-minute wonders, but that from experience I can say that especially global/chronic issues often have many aspects and layers to them that will probably all need to be addressed, but that they will feel better with everything they release, which doesn’t mean we can quantum-leap from here to where they want to be in respect to their overall goal – they oftentimes seem discouraged. When I then explain that I see us as a team, meaning they will have to do their part (tapping) and be persistent with it, many are totally surprised or even upset. ” But that’s not what I heard – I heard that this works fast.” , or they’ll point out that they read this article about a person who had ‘exactly the same’ problem, and she was cured during one single session. One lady even said, ‘Well, you can’t really be that good of a practitioner if you expect it will take time.”
It was really good to hear about Mary’s positive reaction to your honesty – not everybody reacts that way!
So, needless to say, I am very grateful that you have ’spoken up’. Who knows, maybeI should make it easier for myself and refer to your article in the future… and even lay it out in the waiting area
Thanks again!!!
Dear David and Steve
Thank you for your wonderful newsletters. I miss you both and hearing from you is a breath of fresh air and sunshine from down under.
How I agree about over-promising and under delivery in EFT. So many clients have come to me because I do not promise anything. I tell the client that it may or may NOT work. So far it has worked. But we must give the client SPACE to do his or her own thing. I was horrified to hear that the client with ME was bullied and given to understand that he was NOT RECOVERING FAST ENOUGH. Even getting right to the core issues the ME client is in a real deep conflict situation and normal medication to counter deep depression in tandem with EFT may be the best way to alleviate the situation. I have not yet encountered any EFT “CURES” for ME ot MS. So much depends on a person’s belief system and the painfulness of the condition both of which can get in the way big time. Providing EFT therapy to the conscious mind, without including the unconscious mind, is naive in my humble opinion. That is just based on my own experience. Hence the relevance of NLP and therapeutic Ericksonian hypnosis.
The best therapy I ever had was where the therapist was just letting me work, going with the flow and letting me get on with it with minimal guidance. I go off at a tangent too readily as you both know.
EFT, SET and PET are fantastic energy therapies in the right hands. They do have limitations.
Thank you for all the wonderful information and best wishes for Xmas and the New Year
George
Thank you soooo much for your honest! I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia many years ago and have suffered terribly. I have tried dozens of various practitioners, starting out with the medical profession which was the least favorite choice.
I am improving wonderfully now using NAET (Nambudripad’s Allergy Elimination Techniques) from Dr. Devi Nambudripad. She is not only an MD, but a chiropractor, accupuncturist and kinesiologist. My practitioner is a chiropractor who has studied with her and is a very, very capable practitioner. But I also use EFT on myself extensively now, and I am in touch with Phil Evans of People Stuff in Australia. He has given me affirmations for my eyesight and spine. I myself am a certified massage therapist and teach Therapeutic Yoga. I have messing around with alternative healing for years and DO believe it is the way to go.
It is a long and often frustrating journey, but reading Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now is a new gift for me.
I have used EFT on two or three students and had great success removing anger, guilt after a tragic car accident.
Again, thank you so much and Phil Evans has received a forward of one of your newsletters as he does incorporate EFT in his work as a Success Coach
Much Love and Hugs and Blessings for what you are doing
hildylyn xoxoxoxo
I found working with people initially I also became a little down about the lack of fast results.
I now ’sell’ EFT as a long term procedure people should incorporate into their life. I liken it to learning the principles of eating the right foods for your body. An important skill but there isnt much point just doing it for a couple days then going back to old habits.
Regards
Ben
It was very comforting to read this article though I don’t agree with everything.
I have had depression and didn’t take drugs. I have been in gestalt therapy, and tapping by myself and with a coach and doing theta healing and healing codes, kinesiology sessions… Persistence pays. And now, I suffer from CFS. And I trust I will be healed and I am tapping and doing many other things. I will be doing soon the Lightning Process in the UK. I am confident in my healing. And I find EFT such a great tool for everyday stress.
The pity I find is that in Gary’s Newsletter (I love Gary BTW) and videos he only shows what works. An he implies that it is the therapist’s responsability if it doesn’t work. (There is just one statement in his introductory video on the Palace of Possibilities set where he says EFT can’t help a percentage of the population.) From the Newsletter, one could believe that EFT heals everything. It is to forget that we all have a path and healing can take time a long time for some people as well as being very quick. We are as different in healing than in our humanity.
EFT can be a quick and a long fix.
I’de love to be again at one of your trainings.
Love
Caroline
Thanks agaiin for your highly realistic approach to EFT and physical conditions (not to mention emotional).
I have worked successfully with CFS but it took 6 months to clear my client completely of symptoms. Perhaps the ‘but’ is misplaced, as she had this condition together with Fibromyalgia for 12 years and therefore, she did not consider 6 months “too long” for healing.
The point was exactly as you made it: there were many issues contributing to this illness and it was highly unrealistic (and perhaps irresponsible) to expect or promise that EFT would clear the entire illness in a session or two.
Moreover, if the client’s problem is ‘bigger than the problem’ (what Gary Craig calls ‘reversal’), that has to be identified and worked with before there’s any progress with the illness itself.
So thank you, Steve, for bringing this awareness to the EFT public. I wholly agree, as practitioners we should err on the side of underpromising and overdelivering…or we truly run the risk of underdelivering.
I want to say thank you to Steve for publishing it, as EFT moves into a new era. Perhaps it started off with a tremendous momentum and seemed so confident that people trusted it implicitly. Now, with time, people are feeling safe enough to do real evaluations, and say: this works, this doesn’t, this works slowly, this works fast.
I wonder whether people’s expectations for EFT to help them have changed. As they go from realizing that it is often an excellent pain relief tool, and as we gradually begin to believe that emotions really must be playing a role in our life from the point of view of our pain and our health, we suddenly begin to take our whole life in hand at once, and wonder whether EFT can similarly deliver instant results. From being able to cure single habits we are now turning to EFT to ‘cure’ lifestyle habits, thinking patterns, and to upgrade our understandings, challenge beliefs. OK, maybe Gary always said this in the Palace of Possibilities, but gradually people are using EFT more and more in their day to day awarenesses, and growing as a result.
Using EFT for deeper, life issues brings us to face up to our shortcomings, and obviously, there is a lot of reversal there. Thus chronic conditions like CFS, depression, and many times overweight issues, and some phobias, etc, have gone out of the category of ‘a problem with many table legs sustaining it, each of which needs to be collapsed’, but rather represent a challenge to whether or not we’re prepared to and equipped to rethink our priorities. Perhaps they still are ‘table tops’ with many supporting legs, ie issues, but they also have a solid root too which not only needs to be collapsed but actually needs to be uprooted. eg the whole anxious outlook needs to be challenged.
Not only that, but since we need to have goals and functionality in life, we perhaps need to plant or at least give attention to other, neglected aspects of our life, again possibly giving rise to reversals, and we have to challenge ourselves and become more honest and more aware. Obviously this is a long term job – and the practitioner has to lead the way by having gone there in his/her own life before the client. Which is rather hard to do, especially since one expects to have a range of clients and a range of issues, not all of which one will have experienced as a practitioner.
So therefore, if the only thing practitioners have to offer is that they are prepared to face up to their shortcomings and the confidence that solutions exist, that is both very brave, and very new. People nowadays are so used to expecting doctors or pills to give them a ‘quick fix’. It seems so much easier than using a guide to teach the client the steps, while the client his/herself has to find his/her own way over his/her own mountains.
This can be scary for clients; and practitioners, who would like to offer a complete service, have a hard time admitting that that’s the best they can offer the clients. They offer the clients the confidence in the client’s ability and responsibility from their own lives. This can include a lot of reversals, and probably it should be tapped for! At least, that’s the way I envision the challenges to EFT practise nowadays.
It’s like the practitioner has to let go of trying to play the savior role, and become instead a consultant role enhancer for the client who gets to live his/her own play.
It sounds like Steve is complaining because of the “quck fix” mentality that has come about in the EFT community. But is it not Gary Craig himself along with others like Steve, Dr. Lake, Pat Carrington, Carol Look, and many others who promoted this concept to begin with? Now it has come back to bit people like Steve in the Ass.
You cannot read an article from Gary Craig’s website that is not asserting some one minute wonder this or one minute wonder that. The big illusion especially among the mental health professionals and therapists is that EFT is going to allow them to treat their client without having to deal head on with the projected anger from the client onto the therapist. That way they can avoid a committed relationship with their client. That is the first thing I encountered 3 years ago when I sought help from an EFT practitioner. They could care less about me and the real issue. All they wanted to do was tap. What a turn off. Left me feeling bitter and angry.
So why complain now when it was you the EFT community that brought this concept of quick fixes into being? I have already learned first hand from Steve Wells and David Lake what happens when a person brings to them a problem requiring more than 15 minutes of their time. They run.
Their are no shortcuts in healing severe depression and mental illness. The therapist still must get involved and be willing to say committed for the long haul if needed. EFT should only be attempted down the road once the client feels supported and trusts the therapist. Then it might have a chance to shorten the healing process.
Sincerely – Wayne Williams
Brunswick, GA USA