By Dr David Lake

My own definition of the goal of relationship is a devotional friendship, where the wounds from the poison of criticism are healed by compassionate acceptance. I advise the use of EFT and a lot of common sense whenever men and women (or gay partners) get together!

The reality of dealing with problems means that all the solutions depend on your personal growth and capacity for bearing with the hurt of change.

Finally this is a spiritual path toward unconditional love, usually only reached after giving and receiving large amounts of the conditional kind. Your partner’s happiness becomes the important part of your own happiness.

So often the most difficult thing is to accept the partner the way they are, without judging, or wanting to change them.

My wife has taught me the mysteries of acceptance, and our four daughters have taught me the female dialect. Naturally I take the credit for the results of this intensive training. Now-despite being confused on a very high level- I know enough to be dangerous.

Relationship Book:

Dr David Lake’s manual “She’ll be Right: Why Men Aren’t Getting it” will help both men and women to achieve the relationship success they desire.

  • Relationships

    By David Lake What do you say and do when you use Tapping (EFT and/or SET) for a relationship problem? Where do you start? One of the most misunderstood concepts in relationship therapy is the goal of treatment. You may be surprised to find that in the field, this often remains essentially undefined. Therapists rush […]

  • Working with Couples

    By David Lake How do you help a couple to use EFT or SET together? Well, it’s like teaching them to have sex “properly”. First, they must develop trust and faith in you. Then there are the detailed instructions. Last, a little demonstration. Then they might abandon the teaching while keeping the essentials and doing it […]

  • How to Live with the ‘Bad’ Partner

    By David Lake Note: This article is written with the common minor and moderate relationship problems we all experience in mind. It suggests self-help without extra professional help. It is not meant to offer pat solutions for heavy-duty issues, such as a chronically depressed partner. Being in relationship with anyone invites you to answer the […]

  • Criticism

    By David Lake I know of a sure way to ruin your relationship. Be a critic. Of all the relationship poisons, this is the deadliest, over time, and guaranteed never to improve the quality of your life. I suggest that EFT is the most useful antidote to this poison. The urge to criticise and blame comes from […]

  • What would love do here?

    By David Lake I maintain that relationship work is sometimes ‘fraught with peril’ due to the intensity of the painful emotional reactions unleashed in the context of bickering, struggling, fighting, and enduring the partner’s ‘doing what they do’. This is far worse than merely a ‘wrinkle in the great silk sheet of life’. The intensity […]

  • Relationship and Spirituality

    By David Lake I think it is no accident that the leaders in the field of Energy Psychology have strong spiritual connections that inform their work. This aspect of the field is not emphasized although I find it to be an integral part. I wonder whether the practice of Energy Psychology leads naturally towards the […]