“If you only look at what is, you might never attain what could be.”
— Source Unknown
How can EFT / SET help us in manifesting the life of our dreams, in making our dreams come true, in obtaining our heart’s desire, in becoming the type of person we want to be? This is a huge topic and one I cannot pretend to do justice to here. However, I want to share some of the ideas that have been working for me, for my clients and for participants in the EFT / SET and Transformation workshops I’ve been conducting with Dr David Lake.
The reality is that everyone manifests all the time – We are constantly creating our own reality, bringing ideas into form. The trouble is that most of us are doing this on autopilot, manifesting negatively. I want to focus here on the process of conscious creation, where we decide to bring into form some new, more positive ways of being and create richer, more meaningful, positive outcomes in our lives. These are some of the most exciting applications of EFT / SET in my opinion, requiring us to break through our old, limiting beliefs of possibility and allowing us to expand and realise more of our true potential.
Not everyone sets goals in the formal sense, however the act of consciously deciding to create a new future is one of the most empowering actions we can take. It is also one of the most challenging because we are instantly confronted by our limitations. If we don’t treat ourselves for these limitations I believe we risk remaining prisoners of our own version of “what is”, or our current reality. I’m particularly interested in those wild ideas about “what could be” that leap into our minds and crash up against our beliefs about what is possible for us. These are the big, hairy audacious goals that both excite and scare us at the same time. If you have one of those goals in your heart, I am talking to you today.
So what is your biggest dream, wish or goal? Accept that it is there for a reason and decide you are going to make it real. A crucial step in this process is to begin to put it outside yourself, begin to bring a representation of it into the world. There are many ways of doing this, all of which work differently for different individuals (First thing to treat yourself for is the belief that you need to set goals according to someone else’s formula – even mine!). Some examples are writing it down, drawing or painting a picture of it, saying you will do it or have it, making a 3-dimensional representation of it like a sculpture, and so on. Or taking some physical action towards it.
Putting your ultimate goal out into the world – even just to acknowledge that you wish it – can itself be a scary proposition if the goal is big enough and crazy enough. We ask ourselves (a la Marianne Williamson and Nelson Mandela), “Who am I to think I can be/do/have this?” This thought – and the attendant feelings and associations that come with it – are what we first need to tap on. Apply EFT / SET to any and all thoughts that achieving this is not possible for you, that you are not good enough to have it, and that – for whatever reason – you cannot or will not be able to bring it into being. If using EFT, example set up statements here include:
“Even though I’m not good enough to … I fully and completely accept myself”
“Even though I don’t have what it takes to … I fully and completely accept myself”
“Even though I’m (state your own limitation here – e.g. too old, too young, not smart enough, etc) to … I fully and completely accept myself”
If using SET, simply tap whilst focusing on the particular blocking belief and any associated feelings.
The next thing to do is to begin to think about your goal from the perspective of being in it, having already achieved it. Inside the picture – being it, having it, doing it. It isn’t necessary to have an actual mental picture here however if you’re good at visualising this step is about seeing what you desire to achieve as you would if you were there now having already achieved it. The challenge is to capture the real feeling of how this will be – that’s where the power lies. Even seconds per day spent in accessing the feelings of a new reality can pay off in incredible ways.
So take a few moments now to think yourself into this new future where you have already achieved your goal. Here’s where you will almost certainly need to do several rounds of tapping to assist your visualization and affirmation processes, and this is something that – for really big goals – I recommend you repeat daily. The more you do it, the more your images of future possibility will start to feel more real. Not only will they begin to feel more achievable, but they will also start to becomethe reality by which you run your life.
So focus on that big, hairy audacious goal of yours. Bring it into your mind. Now do another round of tapping on your doubts:
E.g. “I doubt I can (state your goal – whether it be a goal about what you will be, a goal about what you will do or a goal about what you will have)”
Now do a round of tapping on the opposite idea – that you can and will make this real.
E.g. “I can (state your goal) and I will (state your goal).”
Note that at this point you may not know exactly how you are going to achieve your goal. Although planning is important and necessary it is in no way as important as gaining clarity on what you want and getting in touch with the feeling of how it will really be owning it, doing it, having it, and/or being it!
Objections will come up in your mind and your body and it is important to sort these out using EFT / SET. Many of these objections relate to values conflicts. Frequently we have developed false associations towards what we think we might have to do or become in order to achieve our goals. So get these doubts and apprehensions out – preferably onto paper where you can see them – and start to apply EFT / SET to them.
As an example, I had a strong belief that if I became really rich I would become less spiritual. A single-round of tapping on that negative belief statement at Gary Craig’s Ultimate Therapist Seminar 6 years ago enabled me to more than double my income in the following year! From that moment on I began to understand the power this process could unleash if we managed to identify the right beliefs to tap on.
Begin to identify your own negative beliefs about what achieving your ultimate goal could lead to, or what it might require you to do or become. Then treat yourself for these beliefs by inserting the belief statements into the set up and also repeating the belief statement at each tapping point. For example, in my case since I was using EFT at the time, the statement was something like “Even though if I become rich I will be less spiritual…” In recent times, I’ve discovered some other related beliefs, and tapping on these has created a further shift. Do this process yourself for every negative belief you can identify and be prepared to persist in treating them – Some beliefs are much tougher to shift than others, but each round of tapping you do will move you closer to releasing the emotional attachment.
For a more complete treatment, see if you can identify where in the past you learned these beliefs and associations, and go back over those experiences, treating yourself as you go for any intense memories that come up. Often you will find that to do so leads to a complete restructuring of the early experience, allowing you to see it from a more empowering perspective and creating a profound shift in the related beliefs.
As important as this removing past blocks process is, it’s crucial to keep coming back to your goal and mentally and emotionally going there NOW. Don’t spend all of your time on wiping out past negatives – Ensure you spend at least equal time associating to new positives.
In my experience, there is at least as much work required in treating your fear of success as there is in treating your fear of failure. If your goal is big enough, thinking of yourself in it (having it, doing it, being it) will bring up some pretty challenging feelings. In treating these fears of success you’ll again be targeting EFT / SET at the negatives – however these are the negatives which prevent us from being comfortable with the idea of having or achieving our goal, the tail-enders to our positive affirmations. When we can see ourselves achieving our goal, say it without fear to ourself and others, and feel 100% congruent positive feelings about it, then we can know that the realisation of the goal is a mere formality.
So let’s do it again now – describe the territory of success. Write it down, draw it, say it, do whatever you need to do to get that blueprint and start to lay down some new physical (neural) and emotional and energetic pathways. Complete several rounds of tapping on the idea and feeling of being there, doing that, having that, being that kind of person. As you tap, mentally step into the future image and focus on it from within the experience looking out, feeling how it will feel when it is real. If you want to repeat something to yourself, have your words be a description of what it looks and feels like being there – what life is like in that future reality – and describe it exactly how you want it to be as you tap on each of the points. As you do so, you’ll be treating your attachment to a previous reality in which this goal did not exist, and making it easier for yourself to feel comfortable in a new reality which you are consciously bringing into form.
Eventually, the world always becomes “as you see it”. As you treat yourself for seeing the world anew, and as you start to live in that place, the world will quite literally transform before your eyes.