By Steve Wells
So much of our life is controlled by choosing the safe "established" path over the new possibilities, no matter how good those new possibilities may be. Fear of failure, fear of self-promotion, fear of rejection, even fear of success conspire to keep us where we are.
The challenge is that often the so-called safe option isn't actually safe at all, it's just what your system is wired to feel is safe. And the stuff outside your comfort zone is not uncomfortable in itself, it's just the feelings you attach to that which are uncomfortable for you.
Change those feelings and you (potentially) change everything.
Think about this: If going outside your comfort zone lead to nothing but discomfort and bad feelings, why would you bother?
What if going outside your comfort zone didn't have to feel uncomfortable at all?
What if you could release the attachments to the feelings triggered by your current behaviours? Then you wouldn't have to keep doing them.
And what if you could release the resistance attached to the new, better possibilities? Then you would be able to move forward and do them without being held back by fear.
That, right there, is what tapping has the potential to offer you: A way to actually achieve your New Year Resolutions without having to work against your own inner programming, by releasing your emotional attachments to that programming!
It's the old emotional attachments that are causing the inner resistance. Release them and you free up massive energy for positive change.
Let's consider how to make this happen for you:
First accept that unless you deliberately choose to go outside your current comfort zones then this year will look pretty much like last year. Unless you decide to change things, you'll only reinforce what you already have, and you won't learn or do anything new.
But deciding is not enough, because deciding to change actually means going against (or outside) your programmed habitual behaviours, thinking patterns, and feeling patterns.
The starting point is to understand that the feelings connected to taking actions outside our comfort zone are not located in those actions themselves. There is no rule that states that everyone who decides, for example, to start a business must feel fear about promoting it, or that everyone who decides to sing must feel so sick that they vomit before every performance (as John Lennon did. Shame he didn't know tapping). And there is no rule to say that if you decide to start eating more broccoli and say no to donuts that you must feel deprived and as though you are missing out every time you do so.
No, those feelings are based on meanings you have become attached to, which are now giving you a shot of anxiety, adrenaline or nausea whenever you go outside the established path.
Sure, that new path may be good for you, and the old established path may be bad for you, but that's not how it feels! It's your nervous system that gives you a little shot of inner discomfort chemicals in order to keep you "safe". Safe, but only based on an old program.
And this is crucial: If it felt good to choose the broccoli over the donuts more people would do it.
If we are going to change our lives, we need to change how these things feel.
More specifically, we need to release our current emotional attachments, where feelings of fear are linked to certain actions, where feelings of deprivation are linked to certain actions, and so on.
Imagine if you could step forward to advance your career or grow your business without having to be held back by fear? Or if you could say "no" to the donuts and "yes" to the broccoli without having to feel deprived?
So how can you do this using tapping?
1. Let's start with your intention:
Unless you set an intention for what you want to create, then you'll continue to be a victim of what's already installed in your mental-emotional memory banks.
2. Immediately after you set your new intention, pay attention!
Notice: Is there any inner resistance to making the change?
Take note of any negative thoughts or feelings that arise here as they will become the first targets of your tapping.
Now, here are 3 things to focus on, each of which will tell you something important about where your inner blocks reside and how to release them to make the changes you want:
(i) First, consider what it will be like if you succeed.
When you think about succeeding, is it a 100% YES!? Or is there inner resistance in the form of uncomfortable body sensations such as tightness or heaviness, or negative emotions, or beliefs that arise
If it's the latter, you have now identified some more targets for your tapping: Apply tapping to those inner resistances, and see what happens. Even a little tapping on your inner resistances can often free up incredible energy for change.
Here's a couple of helpful questions to guide you here:
- Am I completely willing to have this in my life?
- What is or what could be the downside of success?
When you ask these questions identify any part of you that's holding back and apply tapping to that. Take time to do this: Ask the questions, identify any negative thoughts, beliefs, or feelings that arise, and tap on them.
If you can think of having achieved your goal and it all feels good, move on to the next step.
(ii) Now consider what action steps you need to take to get to your goal.
Notice: When you think about taking these steps, do you have any inner resistance? If so, you have now identified your next tapping targets! Apply tapping to these feelings and beliefs and you will free up even more clarity and energy for moving forward.
(iii) Finally, consider whether you believe you deserve to have the success you seek.
It's quite common to feel somehow you are not worthy of succeeding and having good things. If you have an inner reaction to this, start tapping on your sense of not deserving to succeed. Explore where you learned these beliefs, and tap on those memories. When you do, you'll be freeing yourself from false concepts that have been keeping you small.
That's it. I know I've described this process quickly however if you take the time to go through the steps and do the exercises you'll be much closer to achieving your goals and making the positive changes you seek. And you'll be on the way to really making this year your best year ever.
My book 100% YES! The Energy of Success will show you step by step how to use tapping to release your inner resistance, live your values and achieve your goals. Click here to get your copy now from Amazon.com
Let me support you to make it happen:
Join one of my online Tapping into Action groups, and work with me live over 6 months: We'll give you the "how to", accountability, and encouragement to help you achieve your goals. We start in just over 4 weeks. I'm extending the earlybird discount for 4 days but it must end Monday January 8. Both groups (2 times to suit your time zone) are already 60% full, so be quick.