Last night I had a powerful experience using SET tapping and Intention-based Energy Process (IEP) which put me back in touch with my purpose. I journalled each step on my computer and I'm sharing those notes with you here in the hope that it helps you as much as it did me:
I sit down to write this article for my newsletter and instantly I feel blocked. The words won't come. I notice a tightening in my chest. My breathing has altered. As I realise this, I recall that just 5 minutes ago I was reading about this very phenomena. I pick up the book I was reading, Trances People Live, by Stephen Wolinsky, and there it is, a statement I underlined when I first read this book 21 years ago: "In order for a symptom to remain a symptom, there has to be a holding of the breath."
There it is: This, this holding of my breath, this disruption in my chest area, is an essential part of this problem. I try to breathe but the disruption in my chest is strong, and it feels like I can't breathe through it.
I focus for a while on my chest and start to tap, keeping my attention on the feeling. Instantly I yawn. I check in to my chest again. The feeling is still there. I continue to tap, keeping my attention on the feeling. I'm not trying to make it do anything, just adding tapping to my awareness of its presence. I yawn again. Next, I try my new intention process (IEP), and form this intention: "I restore the right energy flow to my chest". I yawn again, a big yawn this time, and now I find myself stretching my arms into the air, moving out of my previously contracted posture.
When I look back at the computer it occurs to me I'm looking down as I type, and I suddenly remember that yesterday I took my computer off its stand to bring my camcorder down so I'd be looking directly into it for coaching calls. But now, looking at the screen instead of the camcorder atop the screen, I'm in a contracted posture. I recall the research, exemplified in Amy Cuddy's very popular and excellent TED talk, showing that our posture creates our experience to a larger degree than we ever knew. I also know the related research that shows when computer screens are above eye level people persist much longer on difficult tasks than those whose computer screens are below eye level.
I shift my computer monitor back up onto its wooden stand. Inadvertently I switch it off and I have to fiddle with cords for a couple of minutes to get it back online. All this time I'm continuing to yawn, reliable signs for me that energy is shifting.
The monitor is now above eye level, and I notice the words are coming more easily now. The feeling in my chest is much less intense. I focus in on it and tap and notice that my next breath is easy and full, there is no constriction. Now, however, I'm noticing my thoughts and these thoughts have major judgments attached: "This is NOT helpful. You need to write something that people can use. You should be focusing on getting people into your next program, if you don't your family will starve." Yes, this is literally the type of thinking I find myself having right now as I type this - despite the fact that I know my family will not starve!
I notice that these are not MY thoughts, in the sense that I am having the thoughts (or, more literally, these thoughts are occurring) but actually it is as if there is another person, or entity, or part, which is directing these critical thoughts TO me. I'm being literally told off inside my own head! I say head because that is where I am registering them. As I notice this, I notice things don't feel so good in my head, it's as if the disturbed feeling in my chest has now moved into my head. So I start there, put my attention on the feeling in my head, and tap. I'm just noticing the feeling, accepting that it is there, noticing the disturbance it is causing, and adding tapping to its presence. As I tap I find myself breathing deeply again, but the feeling in my head is the same as before. Yet I do notice now that my yawns have been replaced by real, strong deep breaths. I feel stronger in my body, even as my head feels weak and sore.
I form an energy intention, focused on the location of this feeling: "I restore the right energy flow to my head." And I'm tapping. I notice that my neck is tight and as I move it, it 'cracks'. Now I feel I'm sitting more solidly in the chair. I am more present. I'm actually here and I can feel myself coming out of my trance.
It occurs to me to check the thoughts I was having a moment ago. I reread the statements I wrote above, which were the thoughts occurring in my head just a couple of minutes ago. I wait to see my reaction. Nothing. I notice a pain in my lower back so I put my attention on it for a moment. And then I tap while keeping my focus on the pain. I find myself shifting in the seat again, my posture is even stronger now. The pain in my back is relieved, still there but better. I keep tapping, and deep breaths come again and again.
Ok, I'm a little embarrassed by the next thought that comes: "I'm actually a good writer" Then, "Well, I used to be a good writer, until I got caught up in having to earn a living from it!" At this the sigh is really deep, the realisation arises that I MUST stay aligned with my value of helping people otherwise none of my strengths will be allowed to come to the fore by my inner gatekeeper (I make a mental note to come back and do more work on the emotional roots of this gatekeeper!).
I tap and it occurs to me to ask YOU what I can help you with.
I'm not even sure who is still reading, or if anyone is, and part of me feels lonely in here, right now, in my office, typing these words. Somewhere, somehow, I feel like I lost touch with some of you, dear readers. Not all the time, but too much of it. I know you, like me, are busier than ever before, and inundated with emails like mine.
The thought occurs that I might ask and hear nothing but the sound of crickets! That thought makes me smile and I realise this is a whole lot different to the feeling I started writing this with.
How can I help YOU, dear reader? What are the main challenges occurring in your life right now, personally, in your career, and/or, if you have one, in your business? What are your frustrations, your fears, the most difficult things you are wrestling with? No guarantees I can help but if I can design my future programs and offerings and writings around that, who knows, we just might get reconnected again.
That's it. Loss of connection. That's what I've been feeling when I've been "stuck in here in the office". So I'm reaching out, knowing a bunch of you won't have read this far, but some of you will, and might reach out to connect. I promise I'll read whatever you write and respond personally, and use your feedback in deciding what I do next. Thanks for listening.