By Louise Wells
(Note from Steve: This article was first written when our kids were a few years younger but the advice it provides is timeless. If you are new to SET, see free video and obtain a free special report and audio here)
In this article, I want to discuss just some of the ways I have used SET tapping in daily life in the hope that it will inspire other parents and non-professionals to use this approach.
Has your child been in a situation when you know tapping would really help them to cope with their fear such as at the dentist or hospital, but you know that set up phrases and tapping on their face in a public place will cause them embarrassment and even more anxiety about their fear?
Have you ever been so tired in the middle of the night when your child wakes you up because of a nightmare that you feel like you're not even awake enough to know where to start?
Have you tried to help your friends and family with tapping only to find that they need to just start tapping and get rid of that intense emotion before you can even start to explain what you are doing?
These are just some of the situations where the simplified tapping processes of SET have been hugely useful for me and my family, particularly the fingertip tapping.
The great thing about SET fingertip tapping is that you can do it in public places when problems come up without having people stare at you and wonder "What the hell is s/he doing?" You can do it behind your back, or with your hands under a table, or when sitting in the car at the traffic lights, and nobody else needs to be aware of what you are doing.
As a parent I know that 14 year old son (Note from Steve: He is now about to turn 21!) would be devastated if I asked him to tap on his face when at the dentist (it's embarrassing enough just to have your mother in the room!). We developed an unspoken code to remind him to use the SET continual tapping using the hand points. All I needed to do was quietly whisper "Josh!" and point to my fingers and he could subtly start tapping his fingers with the thumb of the same hand as he was lying in the dental chair. No dental staff needed to be aware of what was going on. (Although ideally this technique would be great to introduce to all dental staff, in Josh's case he preferred to keep this more private.)
I also feel good that I can calmly reassure my daughter Olivia that her dance performance will go very well. I can also tap on my finger points subtly behind my back or by my side on my own nervousness for her and the butterflies in my stomach, and this allows me to be much calmer when dealing with her fear.
Our son Callum, who has Down Syndrome, sometimes has trouble with understanding changes to routine. A few years ago we went to see "Cars" the movie at a different cinema to the one we usually go to. I knew Callum would love the movie, and we were going with cousins and Grandparents so he should have been very happy, but he couldn't accept that it would be playing at a different place. He progressively got more and more worked up about being there, even calling out in the darkened theatre "I want to go home, I want to go home". There was no point in talking to him at this stage, he couldn't understand, so I simply cuddled him in my arms and tapped on any of the SET points I could reach. He slowly calmed down, became quieter and sneaked a look at the screen...the movie started with cars racing around the track. Minutes later he was happy to sit in his own chair watching the movie.
I often find myself in the "Coffee Therapy" situation. Just having a nice conversation with a friend over coffee and suddenly something gets triggered. Maybe they mention a relationship problem or a physical problem and become tearful. My friends don't want therapy in a coffee shop and I am not a therapist, so just encouraging them to do the subtle finger tapping under the table really helps to relieve/work through the intensity, without me having to go through a long and involved tapping process. It's often not a complete solution to the problem but it really works for managing the emotions when they are triggered in a public space. And believe me, it works really well in reverse, I've been caught out many times when something has triggered me to become overemotional in a public place and finger tapping has helped me to settle down rather quickly.
These are all examples of simple tapping sessions lasting from a few seconds to a few minutes to relieve an acute situation. Often these events have come out of nowhere and I have had to "make it up as I go along" and do so discreetly in a public place. Tapping is an almost automatic response for me now to use with my children when I feel them hurting, to suggest to my friends and family, and to use on myself when emotionally triggered. SET and finger point tapping is great tool to have, although please do consult a professional therapist if the issue is not simply resolved or is getting worse.
What do you think?
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